The Dice of Doom!
by Lacto3.1415
Summary: What do dice and doom have in common? The smashers find out when Crazy Hand tries out a new idea to enforce the laws of the mansion using dice. Problem is, Crazy Hand is insane and so is his idea! Based on idea found in the Claidi Journals.
1. Zelda

A/N: As with most ideas, this one just randomly popped into my head one day...

I got the dice idea from _Wolf Tower_ by Tanith Lee.

**DISCLAIMER**: I do not own any characters from Super Smash Bros. and I do not own the idea for the dice. Basically, the only thing I "own" would be the idea to mix the dice idea with SSBM (but seeing the massive amount of fics for this category that might not be the case anymore lolz)...oh, and I own the title (for they aren't called the dice of doom in the book, just the "Dice").

The Rules of the Dice:

There are two dice shaped sort of like diamonds, three books of ancient mathematics, and however many "players" you want (in this fic there will only be two; the roller of the dice/Crazy Hand and the person/smasher who has to do what the dice "say"). The dice are rolled four times a day (dawn, noon, sunset, and midnight). When a person rolls them they looks at the numbers, then find what those numbers mean in the three books. Whatever the books say the person who did _not _roll the dice has to do those tasks. Simple enough?

Basically, it's just a complicated way to tell people what to do...which is cool...in my opinion...

This is going to take place across seven days (the dice rolling will at least). Also, I'm going to do this in _reverse alphabetical order_...meaning I'll start with Zelda and end with Bowser (because alphabetical is overrated).

Anyways, enjoy! Muahahahahaha! (I know, I know. Finally.)

* * *

**Day One – Dawn  
**

_Crazy Hand's POV_

Crazy Hand…what a misnomer!

Seriously, I'm not crazy…I just don't lead a normal life. I just try to be different here and everyone calls me crazy. No matter how many times I tell people this, they don't really believe me…

Anyway, I never knew what a genius I could be with little inanimate objects…I found a bag with 21 dice and three really old looking books when I was cleaning up this office and this great idea popped into my head…an idea that would make all those smashers PAY!

So, for those of you who are reading this, here's my story…or stories, depending on whether you consider this story to be just one big event or whether you consider it to be comprised of a bunch of little events…of course it could also be just one big story with a bunch of little parts…I'm talking too much…

* * *

_Zelda's POV_

I was just about to leave the smash mansion when I heard my name called on the intercom.

"Zelda, will you please report to Hand's Office. Please report to Hand's Office immediately."

Why would they want me? I haven't done anything! Though I desperately wanted to go outside, I decided that it would probably save more time in the long run to do whatever I wanted if I reported directly to the office instead of ditching and having to run away from the Hand's Police unit or something. I sighed and turned around, heading towards that dreadful office.

All of the smashers I passed stared at me as I walked by. Some were stares of confusion, others were sneers. Nevertheless, I just ignored them and was able to arrive at the office safely and walked in. Crazy Hand's twitchy presence didn't exactly calm my nerves.

"Please...make yourself comfortable...for now." Crazy Hand said, motioning to a comfortable looking chair. I took the seat and calmed down a bit. It _was _comfortable…that must mean something bad's going to happen.

"You are going to be the first person to experience my new_...law_. This is just a test and if it works out, it may be instituted as the main law of the mansion." He stopped, looking for my reaction. I just shrugged, still trying to process what he just said.

"Please stay calm as I get everything ready." Crazy Hand left the office. I started to become a bit uneasy. Was this just something Crazy Hand cooked up or was Master Hand involved too?

Then Crazy Hand flew back in holding a bag and three books.

He put the three books down and grabbed two dice from the bag, tossing the bag to the side. Then he threw the two dice on the table. When they came to a complete stop, Crazy Hand read the numbers aloud.

"Hmm...103 and 9."

He hastily flipped through the books. I was curious to see the titles of the books but I didn't want to get in the Hand's way. A few minutes later, Crazy Hand slammed the books looked at me.

"You have a hard month coming up..." he whispered ominously, "According to the numbers and the books, you have to find a baby green dragon and take care of it for a month inside an underground dungeon."

"Really? Well I refuse." I got up and started to leave. He told me it was just a test and I didn't like it. What kind of books was he reading from?

"But...but, you have to do it! It's the law!"

Seriously? He must be really bored out of his mind or something.

"Your law sounds dumb. Nice try, but next time, try to come up with a law that's actually reasonable." I was almost out the door when Crazy Hand sighed.

"Very well then. Guards! Take her to the dungeon!" I stopped as several wire frames walked in the room and grabbed me.

"Wait a second! What are you doing? You can't imprison me! Let me go!" I demanded. They kept their hold on me. Guess he was more serious about this than I thought.

And where's Master Hand when I need him?

"Oh, but I can! I guess I should have mentioned that anyone who does not obey the new Law is thrown in the dungeon located under the mansion..." Crazy Hand said.

"Why?"

"Because it is the Law!"

"You can't just tell everybody what to do here! This place isn't built on a monarchy!"

Well I guess before Crazy Hand entered the picture it was ruled by Master Hand alone. But still.

"Well, it is now! So...are you going to obey the law or not?"

"Of course not!" I yelled. I still tried struggling against the wire frames but it didn't work. Apparently they were strongest ones, the same that fight in cruel melee.

Fantastic.

As I was dragged along kicking and screaming we passed by a few smashers on the way. None of them offered to help me which was absolutely preposterous. Though I guess I couldn't blame them. The Hands were kind of...intimidating. Especially Crazy Hand.

We arrived at the dungeon shortly and, with one heave, the two frames threw me into the dark and damp dungeon. Very little light shone in the dungeon and the ground was flowing wet with really disgusting smelling water that splashed everywhere when I fell in it. I quickly got myself up and looked around.

The the guards shut the door.

This dungeon was very small. After a few minutes, the noxious water started causing me to become very nauseated.

How long was I gonna be kept in here?

I tried yelling out, but it appeared no one could hear me. Or if they did, they didn't care. Lovely.

I knew Crazy Hand was...well, crazy, but I didn't think he was absolutely _insane_.

I had no idea how much time had passed but it felt like hours before someone came by the door and opened it.

"Had enough?" Crazy Hand asked.

I just glared at him and walked out. He started laughing and flew in front of me, insisting that I needed his guidance to get out of this wretched place.

Several minutes later, we entered one of the common rooms of the mansion. Several smashers were lounging nearby and looked stunned when they saw me. One of them was Link.

"Zelda! What happened?" Link started to move towards me, but Crazy Hand shot forward and stopped him.

"Stay away from the traitor!" Crazy Hand yelled. Several of the smashers gasped.

"Traitor?"

"What did she do this time?"

"I don't believe this!"

"Let this be a lesson to all of you! If you disobey the law, this is what happens!" Crazy Hand yelled, causing all the smashers to fall silent. I just groaned. Public humiliation. The cherry on top of a fantastic day.

"So," Crazy Hand said, turning around to face me, "Will you do what I tell you or not?"

Everybody was staring at me, looking eager to see what my answer would be. Though I don't think any of them had any clue what was actually going on.

I thought about it for several moments and decided that the best thing would be to do what he wanted. Not that that dungeon episode was that horrifically bad-I've been through much worse before with Ganondorf-but I didn't want to see what worse punishments the Hand could come up with.

"Fine," I said at last, "I'll do it."

"Good. So...I take it that you won't want to go in_...that,_" Crazy Hand gestured towards my completely ruined dress, "So I'd suggest you change and report to my office immediately afterward." Crazy Hand started heading back towards his office when Link ran towards me.

"So, what happened?" he asked.

Before I could reply though, Crazy Hand swiftly flew back into the room.

"Don't you dare tell anyone anything Zelda!" Crazy Hand said, "EVERYBODY CLEAR OUT!" All of my fellow smashers, eventually including Link, left the scene.

"Now, come to my office, Zelda," Crazy Hand said.

"But I thought you wanted me to change," I protested.

"Oh yes, I forgot about that. Go do that and come back."

He said it two minutes ago and forgot about it?

I quickly went to my dorm and changed. Luckily no one else was there so I didn't have to answer any awkward questions. After I finished I headed back to Crazy Hand's office and sat down in the amazingly comfortable chair.

"You are to begin your journey at noon today. Which is in...twenty minutes. Enough time for you to go and pack up what you need."

"Where am I supposed to go?"

"Where green dragons roam the wild. I'd rather you not bring it back to our dungeon, so find a different dungeon to raise the dragon in."

"You've got to be kidding me."

"I am not. Just do as the books say."

I wasn't even sure where to begin, but I wanted to get out of his stupid office as soon as possibly could. So I just bid a quick farewell to the Hand and left.

I headed back to my dorm and, surprisingly enough, I was actually able to get all my supplies ready in twenty minutes. Not that I knew where I was going or what I would need, but I figured a canteen, a first aid kit, weapons, a little bit of food, and a few other things would be enough. Once it hit exactly 12:00 PM, I headed out.

_Crazy Hand's POV_

Fantastic!

I managed to convince one of the smashers to follow my command!

Now I shall call upon another one...and hopefully he or she won't be as rebellious as that princess was.

* * *

A/N: MUAHAHAHAHA! I can now rightfully blame all my insanity on Crazy Hand! It's great!


	2. Young Link

**Day One - Noon****  
**

_Zelda's POV_

I wandered aimlessly for a couple hours, looking around for any signs of large reptilian life. Most of the animals in the forest I happened to walk into were tiny, too small to feed any large animal. So I figured I should move on to a different place.

As I headed out of the woods, a large puff of smoke appeared in front of me. It slowly disappeared, revealing a generic-looking genie.

"Are you here to give me three wishes?" I asked.

"No, you haven't released me from a lamp," he replied, "I am, however, the writer of the three books your leader used earlier."

"Oh," I said, "and you found out about him reading those...how?"

"They are books on ancient mathematics," he said, "anyone who speaks those words summons me, for they are infused with magic directly bound to my spirit."

"That sounds like pretty generic magic to me."

He shrugged. "Not everything can be different and original can it? I didn't intend for the people who are to do those tasks to be completely lost. So, I shall transport you to where you need to be. The way you can thank me is by completing the task."

"And what if I don't complete it?" I asked, "I know that Crazy Hand wouldn't be happy, but what about you?"

"...I probably shouldn't tell you," he hesitated a bit, "just complete it. Shouldn't be too hard, I've taken the liberty of setting up a portal-" he gestured towards a portal that suddenly appeared before me, "-that will send you to a land of docile green dragons. There's also a dungeon about a mile away from the middle of the clearing."

"Okay," I said, "but how am I supposed to survive there for a month?"

"You'll find out when you get there."

Mystery upon mystery upon mystery. I entered the portal quickly, hoping that this new place wouldn't be riddled with monsters or any other nasty thing.

I arrived at a vast clearing, a forest surrounding the edges. Small bushes were dispersed throughout the clearing, relieving the monotony of the all streams of grasses. As I looked around, I noticed several groups of green dragons. Most of them appeared to be families, with one or two large ones looking around for the smaller ones rustling around.

I supposed I couldn't just walk up to one of adult dragons and ask if I could take its baby for a month. I would have to find one that's alone.

I wandered around the clearing for a bit, looking for signs of an abandoned baby dragon. I also thought it would be useful to see if there was any other life in the area. Were there any other large predators in the area I might have to watch out for?

I stopped when I heard the wails of what sounded like a baby dragon nearby. I couldn't really tell, but I decided to check it out. Cautiously, though; I didn't want to run into an angry mother or father.

As I got closer to the source of the sound, I noticed no large dragons nearby. If this was a baby green dragon, I guess I could claim it as my own.

I bent down near a bush and started parting the outer branches. A green reptilian head poked through the opening I created and wailed.

I looked around me, seeing if any large dragon was coming to answer the baby's calls. After a few minutes, I decided it was safe enough to assume this dragon was abandoned so I reached in to grab the dragon.

And it bit me.

It started wailing even louder as I reached into the pack I brought with me and grabbed the first aid kit. I wrapped my hand, thankful that I had brought that little kit along.

Apparently this wasn't going to be as easy as I thought. I decided to leave the bush and headed away to rest near a tree, keeping the bush in sight. Several hours later, the sun began to set here and no adult dragon came over to claim the baby dragon.

As I was racking my brain trying to come up with ways on how to retrieve the baby, I noticed some of the adult dragons leading their young ones along with some sort of chirping sound. I didn't think they would make that kind of noise, but it seemed to work.

Maybe I could try to mimic that?

I walked over to the bush again towards the wailing baby and knelt down. I did my best impression of the chirping, though I'm sure it wasn't even remotely similar.

The baby dragon stopped its wailing. The bush rustled a bit as the dragon emerged, peering out at me curiously.

I backed away from the bush, continuing making those sounds. The dragon followed me.

Great. One part done. Now all I've got to do is find the dungeon and raise this dragon for a month.

Simple, right?

_Young Link's POV_

I was playing with Ness in one of the common rooms when I heard my name called over the intercom.

It sounded like Crazy Hand. Awesome.

News travels fast in this mansion so I knew about what happened to Zelda. Nobody could get any more information, so I no idea what I was headed into.

Except that dungeons are involved. And I'm not gonna lie, that kind of excited me.

I entered the office and sat down in the comfortable chair. There were three books on the desks and a couple dice. I tried leaning over to see what those books were about, but Crazy Hand quickly pushed them away.

Now he's just piqued my curiosity.

"I'm seeing about instituting a new law here at the mansion," Crazy Hand said, "that will involve trials for every smasher. These trials are determined by these three books and if you refuse to comply, you will be thrown into the dungeon."

Oh, trials. I'm pretty sure I'm prepared for anything after all the dungeons I've been through.

"Sounds like fun," I said.

"Glad you think so," he replied, "Zelda just thought it was silly."

He picked up the dice and threw them into bag, shaking it. He then grabbed a couple dice from the bag and threw them on the table.

"100 and 25," he said, opening the books. After a few minutes, he closed the books and faced me.

"Your trial is to find a group of disheartened people and rally them up to revolt against their oppressive rulers," he said, "and it needs to involve a spacecraft."

"A spacecraft?" I asked, "Do I ride in one to find the people?"

"Actually I think they need to be living in it," he replied.

"Oppressive rules in a spacecraft? That sounds cool."

"But how are you going to get to a spacecraft?" he asked, more directed at himself than me.

"I could always ask one of the other smashers," I offered.

"No, no, they must not know about this."

"But...aren't you going give trials to everyone?"

"Yes, but they cannot know until they get theirs."

It didn't make any sense, but I decided it would be better not to question it.

"Tell you what," he said, "I'll lend you one of my spaceships. I'll have the wire frames drive it because I know you have limited experience with those. Also, you will need to be ready by sunset."

"Okay," I said, leaving the office.

It was a weird task, but if there are oppressive rulers out there, I'd be happy to help people bring them down. Besides, it was a nice break from the usual fighting here at the mansion.

I headed towards my dorm, wondering what kind of trial Zelda got. It must have been pretty horrible or hard for her to react _that_ negatively towards it.

"Hey, Young Link!" Ness called out to me, "Are you okay? I heard what happened to Zelda and I was wondering what Crazy Hand did to you."

"I'm fine," I replied, "but I can't talk about it."

"Why not?"

"Crazy Hand's law. He's gonna ask every smasher to come to his office so you'll find out eventually."

"Oh."

"I don't have to leave here until sunset, so you want to continue our game from earlier?"

"Sure!"

We played a cops vs. robbers game until about half an hour before sunset. I wasn't sure what I would need for the journey, but I figured I should give myself enough time to pack.

When sunset hit, I went to Crazy Hand's office and he led to the spaceship.

A couple minutes later, we took off, heading out into the vast unknown.


End file.
